ONE SENTENCE REVIEW: Blue Valentine

:(

(A)

ONE SENTENCE REVIEW: Mystic River

You're serious that Laurence Fishburne's name in Mystic River is Whitey Powers? A-.

ONE SENTENCE REVIEW: Greenberg

Equally indie but moderately less enjoyable than The Squid & The Whale. B-.

ONE SENTENCE REVIEW: The Runaways

It's like the film The Doors except way shorter and more exciting. B

ONE SENTENCE REVIEW: Spiderman 2

As a young, female lead, Emma Stone is so much hotter than Kirsten Dunst it isn't even funny. C+

ONE SENTENCE REVIEW: Dick Tracy

Al Pacino? B-

ONE SENTENCE REVIEW: 127 Hours

"It's no Slurpee;" it's mostly just brutal. B+.

ONE SENTENCE REVIEW: Pootie Tang

Sa da tay! B+.

ONE SENTENCE REVIEW: The Crazies

Dear Timothy Olyphant: I love ya, but you're way more likable when you're cool, calm & collected as Raylan Givens. C+.

ONE SENTENCE REVIEW: Jonah Hex

Pretty much the only redeeming qualities are the sweet Mastodon-penned score, Megan Fox and the brevity of it all (only ~75 minutes). D.